I am the mother of a 13 year-old son who was identified in kindergarten and thereafter as extremely gifted.

Kindergarten was a disaster
except for an innovative writing program the teacher had developed. First grade was okay because the teacher invited a lot of volunteers into her classroom and was able to thus individualize programs for her students. From that point on, with the exception of one or two years, things went downhill. The second grade teacher taught solely to the middle of the road and my son was often in tears at the beginning of the year. He quickly learned to adapt by zoning out and going into his own little world. Or, he would take an idea and develop it to the extreme. Third grade was a total waste of time and was when the teasing began -- teasing a child who stood out from the rest because he was "too smart." We had a pull-out gifted program for 45 minutes a day, but the g/t teacher was not outstanding.

At the beginning of 1st grade,
realizing that he needed more stimulation, we switched him to a more demanding violin program than the one he started in at four. That has turned out to be a real challenge for him and has provided him with a lot of mental stimulation and challenge.

Finally, in 4th grade,
we got a new G/T resource teacher who went to bat for my son. She went to the 4th grade teacher, insisting that they develop an informal IEP for him. At first she got a lot of eye-rolling. In December, though, I invited the teacher to my son's music recital. By that point in time he was playing on a fairly advanced level. The teacher had no idea of what he was doing with the music and she attended, thinking it would be a typical children's recital.

The very next morning she sought out the G/T teacher and agreed to go forward on an individual program for my son. By this point in time, I was pretty low-key about demanding additional challenges at school. It can be very counterproductive. I used the music as his challenge.

The G/T teacher and this classroom teacher
put my son on "contract."
In other words, they pretested him on units the regular class was studying and, if he already grasped the material, he was allowed to work on his contract. I think the first thing he did was a unit on one of the Brian Jacque books. He read it, did some guided writings and presentations (in costume) and I think even wrote a musical composition and performed it on his violin. He read Johnny Tremaine and kept a journal as if her were Johnny Tremaine. He learned to write left-handed with a quill pen to experience what Johnny Tremaine went through...He was allowed to work independently, supervised periodically by the G/T resource teacher. The special-ed math teacher took him for short periods and worked out an alternative math program based on the materials used in the Johns Hopkins math programs.

At the end of that year the school approached me about skipping him to the middle school. I was reluctant to do this because he was already younger than most of the students in his class. So, the next year the janitor walked him over to the middle school everyday for math and he was put on contract again for fifth grade. He studied ancient Egypt all year. The teacher tied in science, social studies and language arts as well as fine arts. Unfortunately, though, the time when he participated in classroom activities, he was not held to a high standard.

When he moved to the middle school
in sixth grade, he "coasted" for the most part. He did have an excellent language arts teacher in a pull-out G/T program. The teasing intensified and in most subjects the coasting increased -- in other words, he achieved all A's for minimal effort.The teasing increased and his passion for music increased. The principal of the school had the idea that every child must "fit in" to the mainstream in order to be "normal." He hated the idea of any child standing out from the crowd. Things came to a head at the end of last year -- 7th grade -- and we are going the homeschooling route this year.

I wish that we had
started the homeschooling much earlier.
Critical thinking skills have been dulled over time by being in an atmosphere where it is okay to do the minimum to get by. The adjustment period has been difficult, but we are taking it day by day, using the music as our main focus this year. He says now that he will "never" go back to school, that he is much happier at home.

The key - Provide an outside challenge

I guess the main point in all of this is that if you are going the school route, sometimes you have to provide an outside challenge.

You need to work the system, by working closely with the teachers, but be careful not to become too pushy. I have seen a number of parents who push their child's giftedness down the teacher's throat and it backfires. If you have a local support group for gifted education, join it. We have a local advocacy group and this group helped me to know the system and work it to my son's advantage (without becoming too pushy). The outside challenge-- music -- was where we have grown the most over the years. Provide lots of challenging books to read outside of school. My son read constantly and my husband read and still reads and discusses books with him. Use enrichment programs such as the John's Hopkins programs, but be careful that you give your child time to "gaze at the stars."

Talented & Gifted Support Group

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by Vicki A. Van Camp, M.A., Child Development Specialist
As a Child Development Specialist, I have spent many years working with special needs children, including those diagnosed as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I would like to share some of what I have learned and how I came to realize that homeschooling is the best possible situation for children experiencing these difficulties. Find out more.

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hosted by Joe Spataro
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Now there is a new way for you, your child, and your entire family to find help. In this groundbreaking new book, Dr. Ross Greene, a child psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, makes a compassionate argument that the difficulties of these children stem from developmental deficits in two critical skills: flexibility and frustration tolerance. He asserts that if such children could do well, they would. We have an interview with Dr. Greene and an excerpt for his book that will help you identify if you child has this problem and what you can do about it.

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